Ah, the guest list! Forget the flowers, the cake, the dress even – who to invite will haunt every brides’ dreams for weeks if not months! Will Auntie Joan offend anyone with her less-than-tactful uninvited diet advice? Will Janet from the office get drunk and pick a fight with the bar staff? When it comes to the guest list, are there any definite no-no’s who should be avoided at all costs?
- Former partners
Let’s start with an obvious one. No matter how friendly your break-up was, inviting an ex-partner to your wedding is probably going to be awkward, to say the least, and you don’t want to end up recreating the famous wedding scene from “The Graduate!”. Even if this old relationship is well put to bed, think carefully about inviting an ex-partner, and think about how your betrothed may really feel about it.
- Unwanted plus-ones
I learnt this one the hard way – a friend said she could only come to my wedding if she could bring her boyfriend. I didn’t like him – found him a loathsome bore in fact, but I consented against my better judgment. It didn’t prove to be an issue until he made a beeline for me after the ceremony specially to tell me “I like your boots, but I went to a wedding a few weeks ago and the brides’ boots were much better than yours”. Yep, he really said that. To me. The bride. I felt better for the fact that we spelt his name wrong on his personalised wedding favour.
- Mean work colleagues
It’s difficult isn’t it – you’re handing out invites at the office left, right and centre, but Stella’s invite is conspicuously missing. Have you forgotten it? No! Stella isn’t invited because she’s mean and the two of you have never really been friends, and that’s all there is to it! If you’re inviting work friends to your wedding, don’t feel that an invite for one or two means an invite for all. If Stella is upset that she didn’t get an invite, so what?! She’s mean!
- The bar-hog
You know the type – it’s an open bar, and this guest thinks that it’s a competition to see how much booze they can consume. Before you know it, their braying laughter is echoing across the reception venue while everyone else stares. If you’ve set your heart on a regal, dignified affair with a string quartet and a six-course wedding breakfast, then maybe think about missing this person off the guest list!
- People who aren’t supportive of your choice of life partner
Sadly, sometimes friends or family members may not approve of your choice of partner for one reason or another. If circumstances mean that you don’t feel you can invite a loved one, don’t let that define your day. They’ll be the ones regretting they weren’t there to see it all begin when you go from strength to strength.
These are just tips, but every wedding is different, and only you will know what you’re prepared to put up with and where you draw the line. Just remember that it’s your day, and when you look back at the photos you should see nothing other than smiling, welcome faces. Happy planning!