With all the advice, so many people to please and so much to organise, you can feel like your head’s going to explode. Here’s what to do help you keep your cool in the run-up to the wedding.
1. Be kind. Don’t try to force people to do what you want them to. Let them share some of the decisions. For example, if the groom doesn’t want to wear a morning suit, don’t try to force him. Discuss alternatives. There has to be something he could wear that would please you both.
2. That said, put a limit on your kindness. Other people need to be kind to you too and you have the final veto. It’s your wedding and if you want a simple gathering at the registry office, but your future mother-in-law is already negotiating with a florist to decorate a church, thank her for the effort she’s gone to but explain calmly and clearly that you have everything in hand and the wedding will be how you and your partner want it.
3. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It’s unlikely that you’ve ever planned a wedding before, so don’t feel like you should be able to do everything perfectly and on your own. If you aren’t asking for help with decisions, it may be that you are leaving someone out. For example, if you can’t decide on the style of the bridesmaids’ dresses, make a shortlist and ask the bridesmaids what they would like to wear. They’ll be glad you are involving them in the decision-making.
4. Focus on what is important. Do you want your friends and relatives to have a relaxed and happy day, or do you just want to impress them? It’s fun looking at magazines and catalogues to drool over swanky weddings that can only ever be a fantasy, but don’t sweat the small stuff over chair sashes.
5. Focus on what is important. Did I just say that? Remember that you and your partner are doing this because you love each other and want to spend the rest of your lives together. Nothing is as important as that. You could get married wearing jeans and t-shirts with a coke-can ring and it wouldn’t change the fact that you are celebrating your relationship and formalising your commitment to each other.
6. Take time out from the planning. If you don’t have time any more to do what you love, have a break. Don’t even think about weddings for at least one night of the week. Have a date night and just enjoy the moment, rather than thinking about a future event. Or go out with your besties. Just because you’re in love, you don’t have to be tied to your partner 24/7.
7. Run away! Not from your partner, but what about having a wedding abroad so that you can combine honeymoon and ceremony in a beautiful place, with beautiful weather? This way, the wedding can be all about you two, instead of demands placed on you by tradition, or other people’s view of how things should be. Some wedding venues, like Las Vegas, can live-stream a video of your wedding to your friends and relatives.
If you keep your mind on what you really want, you can achieve it and your wedding day will be a real celebration.